I’ve been asked, sometimes in a mocking way, so "God speaks to you? How does this happen?" Pure and simple: Daily I hear the messages of the Life Giver or the Destroyer. The messages may come through songs, literature, messages or scripture. The thoughts and messages that come to my mind control the direction of my day and ultimately my life’s path. I determine which is which by determining if I am being pushed down or lifted up.
For many reasons the past week has been a difficult one – there are challenges with caring for my aging parents, professional opportunities and deadlines, and probably the most stressful of all, having one foot and a good bit of my heart in New England while the rest of me is in Nashville. The demands of life bring constant stresses, and I cannot say I always respond well – I’ve felt anxiety and anger and my throat tightens with a sob I never have time to release. Before you ask - one not-so-brief visit to the ER confirmed what I knew all along, my heart is healthy.
Today we finishing packing our overstuffed van. In my arms I held a handful of items, as I stepped out into the cool New England air and walked towards the vehicle. I looked up to the blue sky and thought,“God – do you really care about all these mundane things? Do we really matter?” From the driveway the sound of a soft battering caught my attention – I saw a shadow fluttering against our garage window. How I hoped it was a Red bird, Cardinal or even an Oriel – but no it was just a sparrow. I even said it out loud, “Just a sparrow” – I grabbed a nearby cloth and went and trapped it and held it in my hands as I walked towards the open garage doors, it wriggled free and flew to freedom. The bird thought I was its captor, but in fact I was its liberator.
In the end perhaps it was probably all just a crazy coincidence – but ever since I’ve had the words of a familiar hymn running through my head – “His eye is on the sparrow and I know he watches me – "